Be Safe
by JustSmile1
Summary: My version of Reid's death and Luke's grieving.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so before you read this there a probably some things you should know. This story will contain Reid's death. If I had my way he wouldn't have died at all and the only reason I'm writing this is because I think Luke's grieving would make a good story. So just to let you know before you read this, so that you have the chance to not read it. **

"Reid, I swear to God, if you don't get your ass out of bed, I will come in there and drag you out myself." Luke's voice yells at me. I groan and roll over onto my stomach and place the pillow over my head to block out the noise.

Next thing I know, I'm on my back, the pillow is snatched away from my head and Luke is grinning at me from the side of the bed cheekily. I glare at him.

"You know, if my head wasn't killing me this much I would take you out right now." I inform him, trying to sound threatening but failing miserably.

"Yeah sure you would." Luke replies sarcastically, climbing on top of me and placing kisses from the bottom of my stomach all the way up to my neck. I groan slightly and arch my back, feeling the fire his lips and fingers leave. My heart flutters as he comes nearer to my face, even after 2 years he still has a massive effect on my.

Luke grins at me mischievously and I groan in my head, whenever he gives me that look I know something's about to go down. And I'm not going to like it. But before I can question him about it his mouth has smashed down onto mine. I immediately open my mouth to his, not being able to stay in control.

I have long since lost the power to say no to Luke, and have any control over my body when he's in close proximity to me. All I know is that whatever happens as long as I have him near me, everything will be fine. As long as Luke is breathing, I can smile and do my job. I moan slightly and arch my back needing to have the blonde closer to me, not wanting any distance between us. I let my hand slide down his shirt and reach underneath to press my palm against his skin. I feel the softness of Luke's skin against my fingertips and I slowly rub circles on his stomach, he growls in his throat and I smile against his lips. I try to dip my hand inside his pants but he reaches down and catches my wrist, intertwining our fingers together.

He pulls away from me and keep our face close together, our lips almost touching.

"Get up," He says softly unable to stop the massive grin that stretching across his face. He pushes away from me and basically bounds off the bed, running out of our bedroom.

"Such a child," I grumble as I get out of bed and stumble towards the bathroom.

The hot water feels good against my skin as I let the shower wash away my sleepiness. I chuckle lightly as I hear Luke singing softly along to the radio. I think of his amazing these last two years have been. Luke keeps me grounded, he stops my ego from becoming too big and he has shown me how to love and be loved. Sure, I still hate the family dinners we have to endure and the big gatherings of family and friends that the Snyder's seem to always be throwing, but with Luke by my side I learn to accept them. Hell sometimes I even enjoy them.

I've learnt to accept Luke's love for Noah, but I also see how Luke makes sure that I know that it is me that he is in love with when Noah's around. Like how he'll give Noah a hug and then step back and push his body gently against mine. Or how when he and Noah are talking about some film he's making and I'm standing there like a lemon he'll slip his hand into mine.

I can't believe how easily it was to completely fall in love with Luke. How I wasn't even scared of the fall because I knew he'd catch me. Everything about Luke is opposite to me but we fit so well together. Every part of him fits me, he's mine and I'm his, and I don't intend to change that fact for a while.

Once I'm all washed and dressed, I start rummaging in the kitchen looking for some medication for my headache. I'm obviously making a lot of noise because Luke stands up from the sofa where he's writing his latest novel and gives me a curious look.

"Reid. What are you doing?" He asks me his tone slightly amused.

"Looking for aspirin." I answer back, not stopping my searching. I feel as he moves into the kitchen but I ignore his presence, knowing that if I turn round all thoughts of aspirin will be gone.

"Do you mean, the packet of aspirin that's right here on the counter?" He asks me innocently. I spin around and he's holding two pills in his hand with a glass of water.

"What? How did you? I mean. What?" I ask him rambling, inside my head I curse myself for sounding like an uneducated twit.

"You were pretty smashed last night. I thought you might need a little help this morning." He smiles at me and offers me the pills and water.

"Thanks," I say gratefully taking them and swallowing the painkillers quickly.

"You know, I've never seen you got drunk when you know that you have work tomorrow." Luke says and I swallow nervously. At lot has been happening with Chris recently and I just needed to forget about it for a while. Chris doesn't seem to realise how serious his illness is and how much of an effect that it's having on people other than him. I have to lie to Luke to cover for him and I hate it. It makes me feel like I've kicked a puppy.

"What? Do you not think I have a rebellious side?" I purr at him moving closer, trying to distract him from his statement that is really a question. I can tell it works from the way his pupils dilate and the way he moves unconsciously towards me.

"No, I'm pretty sure you do. In fact I know you do." He answers flirtatiously locking his hands around my neck and playing with the hair at the back of my neck. I try to concentrate on anything other than how good it feels, otherwise I'll just have to drag Luke back to bed with me.

"You know what else I know?" He says. I shake my head at him, getting lost in his beautiful eyes. "If you don't leave like right now, you're going to be late for work." He finishes and smiles at me lovingly. I groan.

"Aw come on, you love your work. And you only have yourself to blame for feeling like shit." He adds laughing.

"Oh shut up Snyder," I mumble before pulling him in for a goodbye kiss. He sighs contently and runs his hands through my hair. I smirk against his lips, he has such a weird obsession for my hair.

"Shut up," He murmurs against me knowing exactly why I'm smirking. I pull him closer feeling such an intense rush of love for the man I once hated. Two years have passed since Noah moved away to LA and with Luke I honestly feel content. He makes me better, and I do the same to him.

Luke moved in with me when Katie left to live with Chris. It didn't take much to convince him and I was surprised at how easy living with him was.

"Come on you really are going to be late now," He whispers and pushes me away gently. I stroke his cheek memorising his face for the day before grabbing my coat and walking towards the door. Just before I turn I look back at the man I love so easily.

"Be safe." I say, almost a demand. Luke has spent more time in hospital than anyone I've ever known and I don't know how I would cope if he got hurt. I say this to him every time we part because I need him to know how much I need him to be okay, to be safe. He nods at me smiling, reassuring me.

"I love you," He answers and I feel my heart warm. I grin at him.

"I love you too," I reply before turning out of the door and wondering what the hell Luke Sndyer has turned me into.


	2. Chapter 2

3 weeks Later

"This is an incredibly nice thing you're doing Reid. Very out of character too." Luke said as we walked to my car. I turned to face him and smiled gently.

"Yeah, I know. See this is what you do to me Snyder, change me into a giving, generous person." I shuddered slightly and Luke laughed softly.

"Yeah, well don't change to much okay? I still want the doctor who makes nurses cry without a second thought." Luke replied as he came closer and started to fiddle with the collar of my shirt.

I watched him carefully, he was anxious about me leaving. I wasn't sure why, but I knew Luke and I knew that he was worried about something. I pulled him into a hug and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, holding me close. I rubbed circles on his back and breathed in his scent, falling deeper and deeper in love with Luke every second.

"I gotta go okay? Chris really needs this heart, and there is no way some arrogant bone-headed doctor is taking that away from him." I said as I pulled away from Luke, he grinned at me.

"There's the Reid Oliver I know." But the smile on his face was soon replaced by a frown, he stared down and the floor and shuffled his feet. I hooked my hand under his gently and lifted his head up to look at me.

"Luke what is it? What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I just get a dodgy feeling about this. I know it sounds corny but it feels like I'm going to lose you." He said his eyes filling up with tears. I stared at him shocked, he sounded so sincere. So ... scared that I pulled him back into another hug and held him close.

"I'll be fine okay. It won't take long and then Chris will get better and everything can stop being so dramatic. I promise you, it'll be fine." I whispered into his ear, his soft blonde hair nuzzling my face.

He pulled away and pulled me into one of the most passionate kisses I had ever experienced. When Luke feeling pulled away I leaned on him for support as I felt my head was swimming. He leant his forehead against mine and softly whispered. "Go."

I detached myself from him and pulled open the car door, just as I was about to step into the car I heard Luke say my name.

"Reid," I swivelled round and looked at him, the love pouring off my body.

"Be safe." He said firmly staring at me with such an intense look of adoration that I had to blink from the gaze of it. I nodded dumbly at him and forced myself to smile.

"I love you," I said my voice cracking at the end though I didn't know why.

"I love you too," He answered and smiled softly at me and I got in the car and drove away glancing at him in the mirror.

I didn't know why, but the tears leaked from my eyes and I couldn't help the feeling that was saying that I needed to turn back to Luke right now or something awful would happen. I pushed the feeling out of my head and made the drive to Bay City concentrating on Chris and his heart.

"Don't even think about giving that heart to someone else!" I commanded to the jerk on the other end of the phone and hung up, throwing the phone onto the seat next to me. I watched as the lights started flashing to indicate that a train was approaching. I groaned in frustration and pushed on the gas.

As the car got onto the rail it stopped.

"What the hell?" I muttered and turned the key to try to get it moving again. I didn't work, I saw as the fences started to go down on either side of the car, trapping me in.

"No, no, no , no" I muttered and felt as the panic and fear swooped down on me, I was stuck. There was no way out, the claustrophobia tightened around me and I felt the bile rise in my throat.

I grabbed hold of my seatbelt and tried to get out of my seatbelt, but I couldn't get out. I pulled and yanked at it as I saw the train round the corner.

"NO!" I yelled, pulling on my seatbelt and pressing down on the gas at the same time. I was going to die, oh my god. I trapped and the train was coming.

"Please," I begged "Please let me out. Let me out!" I screamed, the sweat rolled down my face and I started to shake uncontrollably. The tears started to pour down my face at an alarming rate. I only thought of one thing before it all went black.

Luke.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, just wanted to quickly say that I tried but couldn't find out what injuries Reid suffered, so I'm really sorry for being vague on that part**.

It was only pain. Just pain in every essence of my body. Surely death wasn't meant to be like this, death is meant to be calm and peaceful. So why does it hurt?

I can't feel any part of my body, I can't even move. I should be panicking right now, I'm trapped but somehow I'm too tired to worry. Too tired to care. I can't even open my eyes. That's when it hits me, I'm not dead. I'm dying. And from the looks of it, it's going to be painful.

I squeeze my eyes tighter as my breathing becomes harder, where is Luke? I don't want to die alone. I don't want to be on my own. I hear the nurse move around me, I know what this is. She's trying to make me as comfortable as possible, trying to relax me before my death.

The weird thing is it all seems so matter of fact. I know I'm dying but somehow the intense fear and hysteria hasn't arrived yet. In fact I feel more calm now that I know what's happening. Death will come soon, I can feel as my body starts to slowly shut down. I'm guessing I have 15 minutes at least. Where is Luke?

Luke.

Oh my god, Luke. He won't be able to deal with this. Oh my god Luke. Luke please get here quickly, I don't know how time I have and I have stuff to say. Please Luke.

The worry for Luke is as strong if not stronger as my worry for Chris. I didn't reach Bay City. I didn't get his heart, Chris will die as well. Luke and Katie. I can imagine them both plunged into morning, the thought of that almost kills me. Luke never smiling again, never laughing. God damn it Luke hurry up please.

Almost as if he can hear me I hear Luke yelling my name. Reid, Reid, Reid over and over. I'm here Luke, I'm here. The door slams open and I know he's find me, the intake of breath and the small sobs tell me he's here.

Time to open my eyes, I need to open my eyes to see Luke. With every bit of strength I have left I force my eyes open and he's there, my beautiful angel.

The tears fall down his cheeks and I feel my heart pang, he reaches forward and brings my hand up to his cheek sobbing into my palm. I frown and wince at the pain, I don't want Luke to be sad.

"Lu-uke," I croak out. His head snaps up and he tries to stop the tears but fails as a strangled cry breaks through his body and he shakes uncontrollably.

"You idiot. You big fucking idiot. What were you thinking Reid? That you could outrun a train? You're not superman Reid. However much you might think you are you're not." He cries clutching at my hand and staring deep into my eyes.

The love I feel for him is unreal, just his presence is calming. I stare softly at him, unsure of what to say. A big corny speech about my love for him sounds about right, but I can't make the words form. It's as if my body doesn't want to say goodbye to the man I fell in love with.

"But it's okay Reid, it's all okay because I can get doctors Reid, the best there is and they'll help you Reid. They can save you." He says earnestly rambling on to himself or to me I'm not entirely sure.

It brakes my heart to see him like this, so desperately trying to hold onto what we both know is slowly slipping away. He stares at the bed carrying on with his speech, I see as the nurse slowly slips out of the room. I'm grateful, this won't be easy and I'd prefer not to have an audience.

I shakily raise my hand and tilt Luke's head up to look at me, he stops talking and stares at me, begging with his eyes for me to try at least try to hold on. I slowly shake my head at him feeling the tear slip down my face.

I can almost hear as his heart shatters. He starts to sob uncontrollably and the dull ache forms in my stomach as I watch him cry.

"Please Reid, please. Just don't give up yet, not yet. We have so much to do yet. So much time. Please Reid, I'm begging you, please." He murmurs clutching onto my arm.

I feel as everything starts to slow, I can almost feel as my heart begins to stop.

I'm dying.

The tears fall down my cheeks even faster as it sinks in. I clutch at Luke's hand. He stares at me and I speak slowly and painfully.

"Get-Tom," I say and Luke nods not understanding but willing to do anything for me, I watch as he races out of the room and appears later with Tom.

"Reid, what is it buddy?" Tom asks me as Luke comes round the other side of my bed and strokes my cheek softly. His eyes never leave my face. I know this will hurt Luke, it will hurt him bad and he won't like it but I'm not letting Chris die.

"Luke," I mutter, my voice sounds rough and harsh and I wince at how horrible it sounds.

"Luke?" Tom asks and I nod my head slowly.

"Power-Of-Attorney," I stutter out and keep my eyes fixed on Tom knowing that if I so much as glance at Luke it will all be over.

"You, you want Luke to have your Durable Power of Attorney?" He asks me confused.

I nod steadily. I feel as Luke shifts next to me.

"No, no, no Reid. I don't need it. Reid please," He tries to turn my head to look at me but I can't do that. I know if I see the pain in his eyes my heart will literally break. I keep my eyes fixed on the door as the tears escape from my eyes as I hear Luke plea with me.

"Chris-Heart-My-heart." I tell Tom, "My-heart." I watch as the shock and realization crosses Tom's face and as Luke gasps in horror beside me.

Tom suddenly becomes professional and I am thankful for that, his eyes are filled with pain but his manner is calm.

"Reid we need to be very very clear here about what it is you're asking me to do." He says to me letting me have one final chance to back out.

"Reid, please no. Please don't give up. Re-id." I hear as Luke sobs hysterically at my side clutching my hair but this only makes the tears fall harder.

"Reid you want Chris Hughes to have your heart. Am I correct?" Tom asks as the tears silently fill his eyes. I nod my heart shakily as I feel Luke break down beside me.

"I will give you your last minutes," He says to me before quickly taking my hand and squeezing it. "Thank you Reid." He turns and leaves the door leaving me alone with the broken Luke.

I finally turn to face my lover and my face twists into a frown as his tears fall.

"No Reid. It's not happening. He doesn't get your heart, he doesn't deserve it. No." Luke says as firmly as he can. My twists into a small smile.

"So-stubborn," I whisper and he brings himself down to my level, grasping my hand.

"I have a right to be stubborn Reid, it's you. My Reid." His voice cracks on the last line and the tears fall down both mine and his cheeks again.

"Why is no-one even trying to help you anyway? Do you not deserve that after everything you did for Memorial." He asks angrily, I gently stroke his cheek and he leans forward and into my palm making it easier for me to reach him.

"Nothing-left-to-do." I croak at him wanting him to understand.

"But they haven't even tried." He cries kissing my palm and I feel such a need to hold him and make his pain go away.

"They-can't-save-me-Luke." I mutter feeling as it becomes difficult to breathe. This is it now. I'm about to die. The tears start to fall even harder and I struggle to keep my eyes open.

"I love you." I say as loudly and as clearly as I can watching as he comes closer.

"I love you more," He whispers and leans his forehead gently against mine, pressing a kiss to my lips. It takes all my energy to tilt my head up to meet his. The kiss is sweet and full of nothing but love, it's short and I know it's the last I'll ever have.

"Not-possible." I mutter as my heart begins to stop.

"Be-safe." I order him before it all goes black.


	4. Chapter 4

Luke.

The carpet is scratchy on my face, but not enough to make me move. I know I should be aching, feeling pain- that's why people cry because they feel pain. But I feel nothing, I'm completely numb, I feel hollow and a dull ache inside me that's I've gotten used to. I feel no pain, but still the tears fall. They run across my face and back into my hair, even when i close my eyes they still fall.

All I know is that Reid's dead. I watched it happen. No-one even had time to mourn for him because they were too busy worrying about Chris. When Reid died they turned his ventilator off even though I begged them not too.

I tried to cling on to Reid, just that little bit of Reid that was left but they wouldn't even let me have that.

I remember Dad driving me home and then I somehow made it up to my room, stumbling a little. Not seeing where I was going and not caring. I remember just getting through the door before I collapsed and I haven't moved since.

That could have been hours ago or days I don't know. I don't have the energy to move.

Losing someone is like a nightmare you can't wake up from. Like drowning in the sea and not be able to swim. It's filled with hurt and pain. Because it doesn't matter how much you want it to be false, how much you beg for it to be a dream-there's a voice in your head that whispers '_He's gone. He's gone now._'

But now that I think about it that fear was always there, I think in every relationship it's there. The fear that the next goodbye will be your last, I know that seems paranoid but it's the truth. When you love someone so much that they become your air, you don't get to chose how you feel about them anymore.

You don't get to decide whether or not you'll be scared when they get on a plane and fly away from you or whether you'll be filled with jealously when you see them talking to someone you know is just a friend.

When someone becomes your life, you lose control over your emotions around them, and sure it's scary as hell but it's also completely and utterly amazing.

Until something happens. Something so terrible and scary and painful happens. Then it's bad. All you want is to be able to turn your emotions off.

Just switch them off and pray that that'll stop the ache, and stop the tears.

A part of me desperately doesn't want to carry on, because if I give up now then there's a chance that I'll see Reid again. Even if that chance is slim, I'll risk it. Just to see him one last time. But I know how Reid would react to that idea.

He would scream and try to kick my ass, because he would want me to carry on. He'd want me to smile and laugh again, to work hard again, eat new food, see new things and he'd want me to love again.

But it's not that simple. The effort of just walking is tiring.

You have to remind yourself to breathe, remind yourself to eat, remind yourself to do everything that keeps you human. Because it is so easy to forget, to let yourself fall into the darkness. Where there is no laughter and no love.

Where there is only pain and sorrow and although that sounds like a terrible place it to it's a hell of a lot easier than getting up and getting on with your life.

But I do get up and carry on. For Reid.

I push myself through work and I sit through family dinners, I go to Board meetings with Bob and talk about who will replace the new wing. I talk to Alison and Casey but never let myself smile or laugh. Not because I don't want to but because I can't remember how.

I resist the temptation of the bottle, although all I want to do is drown myself in alcohol, remembering how well it drowned out the pain.

I go for walks in the park and eat new food. But the scenery is dull and grey and the food is tasteless.

I keep getting up out of bed and getting on with it, ignoring all the voices that say I'm not good enough, that each time I stand on my own without Reid I'll fall down.

I go through the motions every day- Get up, go to work, remember to eat lunch, work, come home, remember to eat dinner, go to sleep. There is no change in my pattern, because I won't be able to cope with any more change. Every day the same.

Until one day I don't get up from my bed, I don't have the energy. I don't go to work and I don't eat. I lie in my room and feel as the broken glass of my heart pierces the rest of my body. Slowly but surely.

I lock myself inside my head because in my head Reid is alive and smiling. I'm so scared I'll forget his face. So I stay here, inside my head with Reid. I don't know if I'll ever come out again.

Please review and tell me if I'm doing okay and if I should carry on. Thank you


	5. Chapter 5

I watch as the tears slip down his face and feel as my hearts breaks even more. The sun is shining and it cast reflections and colours in the water of the pond. I smile at the beauty of it all. I scrunch my toes up in the ground and breathe a sigh as I feel alive again.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm dead and that this is temporary but it doesn't mean that I can't pretend.

I watch as Luke pushes his hair out of his eyes and stares out across the pond. I can't help but frown as I look at him.

He's not my Luke anymore. He's just an echo. An emotionless zombie who needs to be bought back to life, and that's why I'm here.

Because I know that if Luke carries on living the way he does he will end up losing his family. He's breaking Lily and Holden's heart every time he stares at them as if they're strangers. His friends have finally given up, it took 4 long and painful months for Luke to finally push them out of his life completely.

He got so lost, so swallowed up in his grief that he couldn't even see me. If Luke was in a normal state of mind then he would definitely recognise and feel my presence, even if I am dead. But he got so broken in his sadness and pain that everything bounces off him.

All the things he used to find beautiful and joyous are now nothing. All the things that made him the amazing human he is, all the things that made me fall for him are dead and gone. If he wasn't so broken I would kick Luke's ass for doing this to himself and too his family.

When someone loses a lost one, they need a period of time to grieve. A time where they mourn and cry and feel the pain for the lost one. Where they sit and do nothing for days at a time. It's not a happy time and can last for years but once it's finished that's it. It's done-it's over.

And they start to live again. Fall back in love with all the things they loved before, re-acquaint with friends and instead of cry for their loss, smile because it happened.

But for Luke this never happened. Because he is the one person, who the next day gets out of bed and goes to work.

He never let himself have the mourning period that every human needs, he tried to deal with on his own, because he's an idiot and thought that he could handle it. He tried to block the pain but the harder he fought it the tighter it wrapped itself around him-until he became the man who is sitting in front of me.

The man who feels nothing because he doesn't let himself. The man who longer smiles, no longer laughs, no longer teases and grins, no longer feels passion and desire, the man who is devoid of everything that makes him human. And that is why I couldn't leave.

I couldn't leave for my afterlife because I stuck around to make sure Luke was okay, that he hadn't turned back to alcohol and was trying to kill himself. What I found instead was almost as bad.

So here I am, Dr Reid Oliver to the rescue. And I intend to fix Luke. I will fix him and he will live his life the way he was meant to.

I let him have one last minute as the zombie as I prepare for what I'm going to say.

I take a deep breath and walk towards him, sitting down on the grass next to him.

"Getting a bit colder now isn't it?" I say softly waiting for the shock.

"Hey Reid." Luke replies calmly. Not even looking at me- what?

"Luke? It's me Reid." I say frowning slightly, I was expecting a scream and tears.

"Yeah I know." Luke replies still not looking at me tugging at bit of grass.

"Aren't, aren't you surprised?" I ask him, watching him carefully. He lets out a bark of laughter. It's rough and fake and I frown at the noise.

"Surprised? No. I see you all the time Reid and you know that. You're just a figment of my imagination, here to torture me." He states calmly still staring at the grass and I gaze at him shocked.

He sees me all the time? My heart breaks for him. It must be painful imagining to see people who you know are dead, people who you loved.

"Luke, I can promise you I'm not your imagination." I say softly.

"Yeah sure," He says his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Luke look at me. Luke. Look at me," I say, reaching out to grab his chin lightly and turn his head to face me. He keeps his eyes on the floor still refusing to look.

"Luke, please." I whisper and it works he faces fills with pain and he sighs but looks up to my eyes.

I watch as he gasps and stares at me for a while.

"Reid?" He whimpers "Reid? How are you? I mean... you can't be here. How is this? What are you doing? Reid." He whispers my name before collapsing into the arms that will always catch him, my arms.

I stroke his hair softly as he buries his face in my neck and sobs. I breathe in the scent of Luke, committing it to memory and promising never to forget it.

He looks up at me and strokes my cheek softly before his hands tangle in my hair. I smirk at him and he smiles sheepishly back.

"Some things never change huh?" I whispers and he nods back.

"Luke, I..." I start before he cuts my off with a finger to mouth.

"I know okay. I know what you're gonna say so before you ruin the moment, let me just do something." He says softly, I nod at him gently and watch as he tilts his head forward.

I know what's going to happen and I close my eyes in atnticipation. His lips find mine and I gasp at the contact. It's been six months since my death, but it feels like forever since I've had any contact with Luke.

Luke whimpers slightly against my mouth and tries to press himself closer to my body, his lips are fast and rushed and I can tell he's scared I'll disappear.

His hands are everywhere and the feel of him is making me dizzy, I wait patiently kissing him softly back as I know that he needs this right now. He presses a final kiss before whispering my name and letting his head fall onto my shoulder.

"What are you doing Luke?" I ask him quietly, pushing my shoulder up so he has to take his face of my shoulder. He looks up and shuffles around to sit beside me again, he starts to tear the grass apart again.

"I'm sitting here." He answers, ripping the blades to pieces.

"Thats not what I mean and you know it." I reply sharply, he needs to be woken up and I don't know how else to do it.

"I'm just living Reid." Luke retorts and looks out across the pond.

"Really?" I ask the sarcasm dripping off my voice. "Are you sure? Cos you look pretty much dead to me."

"No, I didn't die. I wish I had." Luke says softly, so softly I almost don't hear it.

"No! You can't say that Luke." I say firmly, but even I can hear the beg in my voice.

"Well I can say it, I already have." Luke shoots back and I watch as a smile spreads across his face. It must hurt his cheeks, he hasn't smiled in so long.

"Alright smart-ass calm down." I retort grinning at him. He smiles gently at me, and I can see the tears filling up his beautiful eyes.

"But it's true you know. I can't live without you." The words should have sounded crony and over-dramatic but the look on Luke's face as he speaks them, make me think that they're the most heart breaking words ever to be spoken.

"Of course you can." I say back taking his hand and gripping it. "And you have to Luke. You have to live the most amazing life ever. For me."

"I can't," He cries, and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"You can. And you will." I say to him and then watch as he tries to brush the tears away.

"I did this to you." He whispers and his voice is so full of guilt and pain tht I am stunned. I stare at him in complete astonishment and I can't help the tears that have started to fall.

"Right you look at me Luke Synder." I growl grasping his face with my hands and make him look at me "In absolutely no way is this your fault. No way. How could you even think that Luke? I thought we were done with all this blaming yourself for everything bullshit."

"But I made you come here Reid, I bought you to your death." He cries and the tears fall into my hands.

"No Luke you bought me to my life. I didn't have one without you. You made me better, you loved me and you taught me how to love. You bought the sunshine into my life Luke, and I regret not one minute of it. I would rather die knowing I had you with me than live knowing that I would never meet you."

"So don't you DARE blame yourself for this. You made me the happiest I have ever been. Luke, human life is so short. Too short, I should know, and you can't spend it crying and full of guilt. I won't let you."

"Your life is too precious." I finish stroking his cheek softly.

"I miss you," He breathes and I sigh softly.

"I know, I miss you too. So much." I reply before uttering the words he needs to hear.

"But don't you think it's time to let go?" I ask him gently and his eyes become wide with fear and sadness.

"No!" He chokes out "No. I can't never see you again."

"You will see me again." I re assure him, knowing it's the truth. "I'll wait for you."

"Find Casey. You need him, you need a friend. Someone to help you. Talk to your mom and dad, and live Luke. Live the best life you can ever have." I tell him, standing up and he follows. I place my hand on his cheek.

"I love you," He whispers and I nod.

"And I love you, so much." I murmur back before reaching forward and brushing my lips against his, savouring in the feeling of Luke.

I feel as I start to fade, and by the looks of Luke's face he see's it too. He shakes his head in hover before grabbing my cheek and the back of my head.

"No, not again! Please don't leave me. Not again. Please i won't be able to bear it. Please Reid. Don't leave me" He begs in between his tears.

"I'm never truly gone," I whisper back before I fade away into the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

"Reid," Luke sobs before collapsing to the floor and crying his heart out as Lily races over to see him. She picks him up from the floor and holds him close to her, rocking him and offering words of comfort before leading him back up to the farm.

When the day comes to a close, Luke says goodnight to his family. Today has been the first day in six months when Luke has stayed with his family and laughed and played games. When he makes his way back upstairs Lily falls into Holden's arms and cries tears of relief.

Two years later Luke meets James. James is funny and clever, he's an archaeologist and is about as different from Reid as you can get. The pair fall in love very quickly, and James knows that a part of Luke will always be with Reid and it's a part of Luke that he should never try to win over.

Luke gained a new perspective and did try to live life to the fullest every day. He saw the beauty and joy in the smallest things and would often thank Reid for that.

He would often go to the Snyder pond and sit there and tell Reid about his day, and although Reid never appeared to him again like the first time he would often feel a warm breeze around his body or a splash of water would appear out of nowhere and when this happened he would smile.

When Luke finally married James he felt Reid's presence at the altar and he knew that Reid would have liked James a lot if he was around. Luke's wedding day was the happiest time of his life. Noah had attended and Luke felt as though all his loved ones had gathered to celebrate with him.

When Alison gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy and handed him over to Luke and James for the first time a tear fell down Luke's face as he named the baby Reid. He could almost feel Reid's tender kiss on his cheek.

And when Luke's life finally came to an end at the ripe old age of 89 he was gathered around by his 3 children and all his grandchildren and he looked up at them and smiled because he knew he had fulfilled his promise to Reid.

So when Luke took his last breath, he went without fear as he knew that Reid's arms would be ready to catch him when they would meet again.

Hello everyone. So it's all finished, this was a very deep story for me to write and I really enjoyed writing it so I would love it if you could review. Thank you!


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